On Self-Love, the Real Kind

 How are you doing? 

Chances are, your honest answer is likely a combination of tired, stressed out, or busy. Whether you’re a stay-at-home-mom or an entrepreneurial jet-setter, staying sane seems to require an act from God. This is true especially for us women, as we innately have a tendency to care for everything around us – often neglecting our own needs. So, what’s a woman to do? A quick internet search will tell you that the answer to our self-love deficit lies is something that can be slathered across your face or eaten with a fork.

As a self-love fanatic – those just aren’t the things that leave me feeling fulfilled and whole. For now, we will categorize them as self-indulgence. For the first 6 months of 2019, I have pressed into the concept of self-love more than ever. My exploration was born out of a visceral yearning to reconnect with myself. Most of last year was spent in a habitual cycle of performing and proving – a quite desperate and lonely place to be. I have a word limit, so sparing you the details, just know I’ve been there. Deep down in that completely lost feeling, disconnected from my own thoughts, beliefs, desires, dreams and emotions. The journey out of that space has changed my views about myself, love and self-love in profound ways.

This is what I have come to learn about this tossed-around virtue. Self-love is the reestablishing of the connection between mind, body and soul – and nothing less! Self-love requires you to honor yourself as a unique individual, listening to the personal requests of your body and mind, and making these “routines/practices/exercise” a sacred part of your life. This process is personal and individual to each person. If you’re looking for peace, self-love is required. Relaxation is found in the pampering, but true peace comes from the practice of connecting our self with our source.

Now, this may not sound as sexy as manicures and gluten-free donuts (#selfindulgence), but there is a very practical way for any woman to kickstart her personal self-love revolution. Like all epic journeys into the self, a journal is highly recommended. Start with the questions I’ve listed here, and allow yourself to meander down the different tangents that they inspire for you.

How’s my soul?

What do I need right now?

What are some of my unique needs in this season of life?

How can I be more compassionate with myself today? 

What do I need to remember about myself?

What do I need to release? 

The “big secret” here: get curious and listen, sometimes the most profound thing we can do, for ourselves and for others, is to listen. Listen with no agenda to fix or judge or change, simply allow the words to be released at one end and accepted at another. The act of listening opens doors within us that awaits our presence and attention. When I first reconnected with my inner voice – I was shocked to find how much there was to talk about: childhood pains, current struggles, future fears. There in the ring with all these once-hidden parts, my essence became increasingly clear to me. I began to understand my habits and gain compassion for the woman I was becoming.

As I said before, self-love is personal to every unique individual. These questions are a starting point for you to reconnect in a fresh and real way to the voice inside of you, so I encourage you to remain open to where they lead you. There is no telling where these small acts can take you, but I will tell you it has changed my life. I am more present with myself, in my relationships and in my everyday life. It was through this process that I reconnected with old passions of mine. Now I am on my journey to starting a lifestyle company for women.

Are you up for the challenge? Let’s start by committing to journaling three pages every morning for three months – or maybe start with 1 month. I started here, and continue to journal to this day. Cheers to your self-love revolution!

About the Author: Bailey Kaiser has worked in many different spheres of wellness from holistic medicine, personal training, and most recently wellness coaching. She believes that our bodies are complexly crafted to heal themselves, and it is our stewardship to strengthen and support that process however we see fit. Visit to learn more. 



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